Be Inspired: Anger Management
Friday, January 26, 2007
How do we feel when we are angry or when we carry an internal grudge against someone? Certainly, we do not feel comfortable. Do we? We know that we live in a materialistic world and we cannot deny or avoid its influences. And sometimes we face events in life, which affects our mental equilibrium.
Anger is a killer and we know from scientific evidence that it can cause serious damage to our system. According to various spiritual scriptures, ‘Anger’ is not a normal part of our human nature. And through regular practice, we can form a habit to ward off this external element from reaching and manifesting our system.
Let me share with you a beautiful Buddhist story on anger management told by my grand mom when I was a little boy.
The Story
One day a Buddhist monk approached his spiritual teacher with a problem. And the monk looked worried. So, the teacher asked him in a loving voice, “My son why do you look so worried.” The monk replied, “I have a big problem with my anger, and I feel out of control when I am angry. Please help me to get rid of this habit”
The teacher then said to the monk, “You have something that is not normal and I find it strange. Show me your anger now. Where is it?”
The monk became little surprised at the teacher’s comment. Then he said to the teacher, “I cannot show it to you because it is not there in me now.”
So, the teacher said, “Why can’t you show it to me right now?” And the monk replied, “As it is only there when I am angry and I can experience it at that particular moment.”
Then the teacher said, “If the anger is there in you only for a moment, it cannot be a part of your true nature. And if it was your true nature, you could have shown it to me right now.” Then, the teacher went on and said, “Why are you allowing something which is not a part of your true nature to control and agonise you?”
The monk immediately realised what the teacher meant, and it opened his eyes. So, he vowed to his teacher and thanked him for the advice.
In future, whenever the monk felt angry, he recalled what his teacher has said to him, and that helped him to gain full control of his mental state. Before I close, I would like to ask you to take a moment and think, is there anything that we can gain from this beautiful story?
Take care and may God bless you. Catch you soon!
posted by Debojit Chowdhury @ 2:24 PM,
4 Comments:
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At January 27, 2007,
said...
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Debojit, nice post. Thanks.
Looking around, anger is one of those out-of-control parts of our modern life. It's so prevelant.
But does anyone take the time to consider what anger is? I've found anger, in every case - however justified I feel in being angry - to be a cover for deeper, more intimate emotions like fear and hurt.
Basically, I've seen anger as a strong, protectin response to 'weaker', more vulnerable feelings.
When we face our fears and work through our hurt, anger often dissipates. -
At January 27, 2007,
said...
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Great discussion here! Building on the comment by Dawud, I see the wonderful story showing me what happens when I make anger a fixed state and then get uptight.
I think feeling angry is a great signal that I am in pain. Something has threatened my well being. When I look it often i see its not so much what happened but how I am relating to something that happened that is making me angry. A lot of times it was not really a threat.
And in looking, I can let it go. Anger is a feeling so its not fixed. Its like the weather. But like all strong emotions, it has something to tell me. If I don't listen, then I start acting out of anger. And that creates more suffering - for me and for others.
Thanks for the great post! -
At January 28, 2007,
Debojit Chowdhury said...
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Hi Dawud Miracle, thanks for your lovely message. Yes, you are right, I agree with you. I think we have all knowledge, it is just raising our awareness. Take care and God bless
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At January 28, 2007,
Debojit Chowdhury said...
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Hi Dave, tahnk you, great message. Yes, sometimes we tend to make anger a fixed state and then all our problem arises. As we said if we watch out mind and take the right action to get rid of it, we will experience bliss and harmony. Take care and God bless
